The First Month

I have two words for you: SPINAL TAP. Thank God Brian never needed one, but when I left the hospital I was told that if his fever went above 100.4 before 3 months, they would have to do a spinal tap. (He struggled with regulating his own temp and blood sugar, which is what landed him in the NICU for 6 days.) This sent me into a world wind of panic. I wanted everyone to come and see my beautiful son, but I didn't want anyone to come too close to him. I didn't want to chance him getting sick! Understandably, not too many people were keen on just coming over to SEE him, they all wanted to hold him, kiss him, snuggle him...heck, my mother-in-law kept kissing his hands that he always stuck in his mouth..HELLO, DID YOU MISS THE WHOLE I DON'T WANT HIM SICK PART?!?! Poor woman, it was her first grandchild and she just wanted to love on him, not her fault her daughter-in-law is a freak of nature.

For the first 3 weeks of his life, I slept with him in his popazan chair While I slept on the couch with the light on. I needed to do this so that I could open my eyes and see him at any moment. (Like I said, freak of nature.) It was March, and a cold March at that, so this was the only way that I was comfortable covering him up...the chair put him at an angle, so if I covered him up and put his arms over the blanket he was safe right? (I wasn't sure, hence the light being on.) After about 3 weeks my husband got sick of being the only one in a California King size bed that was clearly built for two...so baby and I ventured into the bedroom...

It was also in this first month that he became colicy. I had never heard of colic...my mother asked me if he was and I responded with "Isn't that some kind of spice?" I learned very quickly, that it is not. At about 5 pm he would begin crying hard and non-stop for about 4-6 hours. My husband and I took turns, but the poor guy worked all day and I was still on maternity leave. I went through all the typical stresses....am I not a good mother? Is he in pain? Is he sad? Why is he crying so much!?!? I just want to enjoy him, but instead he cried fot 5 hours on end.....and so did I.....